i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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