Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
