Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
