I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
