so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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