I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
