Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
do nipples grow back?
Randomize