HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
