There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
