What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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