Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
