just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
