Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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