You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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