my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
