You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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