Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
