I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
