help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
