the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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