i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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