Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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