Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
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