another moral hangover. fuck.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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