Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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