seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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