I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
