He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
