I bet he comes in French.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
