two words: eviction party
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
