How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
