What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
