She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My liver just had a heart attack.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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