that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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