I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
