I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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