another moral hangover. fuck.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
