thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
