I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
