what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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