meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
