I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
