Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
