Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
