just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
