Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
