I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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