Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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