Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
