Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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