Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
